Masks

Fear, Fury, and Facades

💔 Behind every face lies a person who is fighting a battle you know nothing about. We wear masks to keep them hidden: masks of grimaces, material possessions, digital personas, makeup, power suits, or even vitriol.

I recently met a manager known for her harsh demeanor. She was rude, condescending, and had created an environment where her team felt tense and avoided her at all costs. A mutual friend suggested she speak with me to see if I could help, and we agreed to meet at Starbucks.

When she sat across from me, her expression was tense. “That’s just who I am,” she declared, arms tightly crossed and voice laced with irritation. “People need to get over themselves!”

I held space for her, quietly conveying my genuine desire to understand.

To help.

As we discussed the challenges of leadership and the importance of connection, I could see a gradual shift. Her rigid posture began to soften, and the anger in her eyes gave way to something deeper.

Then the mask cracked.

Tears seeped through and spilled onto her shirt.

She dabbed at her eyes with a Starbucks napkin and continued.

Her mother was gravely ill. The fear of possibly losing her, combined with the pressure of her role, had manifested as bitterness and cruel behavior.

Her mask.

Fear.

We sat together for over an hour, sipping our lattes and unpacking strategies she could use to cope without harming herself or those around her.

Fear, insecurity, doubt, regret, shame, etc., often simmer just below the surface. Some lack healthy coping mechanisms and project their pain, finding solace in the suffering of others. Others cut people down to feel seen, battling their own feelings of invisibility. And some wound others to feel less alone in this complex, chaotic, and often terrifying world. As the old adage goes, "Misery loves company."

People behave according to the level they operate from, which will likely differ from yours.

So stop wearing others' pain like a name tag or breaking your back carrying burdens that aren’t yours.

You choose what stays with you and what gets escorted from your sacred space.

Your peace is your responsibility.

Protect it at all costs—with intention.

So, the next time someone lashes out and tries to maliciously demean, hurt, or embarrass you, remember that their behavior is not a reflection of your worth; it’s merely their struggles peeking out from behind carefully crafted masks.

Don’t take the bait and enter rings to fight battles that aren’t yours.

Instead, settle into your worth.

Practice stillness.

Govern with grace and bless them from afar.

Choose empathy over judgment, but don’t haul their stuff inside to add it to your own.

You have enough stuff.

Wishing you a peaceful and beautiful week ahead.

---

Let’s get started on your rockstar journey

SPEAKER | coaching | events | books