Whose Voice Is That?
When Childhood Messages Masquerade as Adult Truths
September is Self-Improvement Month—a time to pause, reflect, and commit to becoming the fullest, most authentic version of ourselves. As we embrace this season of growth, I want to ask you a vital question: Whose Voice is That?
To find the answer, sometimes we need to return to where it all began.
Childhood.
It’s in those formative years that the seeds of our beliefs were planted, and understanding them can help us reclaim our true selves.
Each of us carries childhood memories that profoundly shape our beliefs about who we are and what we deserve. Some of these memories uplift us, while others create shadows that negatively influence our self-worth and life choices.
Here’s one of mine:
I was a little girl kneeling in my grandmother’s dimly lit bedroom in Jamaica. A flickering kerosene lamp cast dancing shadows on the walls as I “prayed”, but not to God. My tiny hands were clasped tightly as I looked up at two photos on the wall: my father in his Jamaican police uniform, and my mother in a yellow pastel dress.
Tears soaked my pajama collar as I promised those pictures that I was a “good” girl.
I did my chores.
Kept my grades up.
Minded my manners.
Said my prayers.
I pleaded for them to come for me. In my child’s mind, I believed they thought I wasn’t good enough, that I had to prove my worth to be loved and belong with them.
My sister was already in America.
My grandmother was a loving caretaker, but my little heart ached for my parents. This early experience planted seeds of unworthiness.
When I finally came to the United States at 14, the struggle continued. Bullies told me I wasn’t pretty enough because of my teenage acne and outdated and mismatched clothes. Those meant to care for me used words and actions to belittle me. The church controlled and eventually ostracized me.
So many voices competed for my mind - yet none of them were truly mine.
Driven by these painful messages, I sought validation through relentless overachievement —joining every church outreach program, fasting extra days, praying for hours, and striving for perfection in school - convinced that just being me could never be enough.
These childhood messages - often hidden - take up residence in our subconscious, shaping our self-image, decisions, and how we present ourselves to the world.
The challenge is learning to discern which beliefs belong to you and which are borrowed from others - parents, spouses, teachers, friends, society.
Are your goals, your career, your relationships, and even your spiritual beliefs authentically yours? Or are you living by someone else’s script with your name on it?
If you feel drained, climbing ladders that don’t fulfill you or holding onto relationships that do not nourish you - pause. It’s your life to live. Align it with what truly lights you up.
The limiting voices may still whisper “not enough”. It’s time to let them go. Shed those outdated stories and step boldly into your authentic power.
Because, my friend, you are a badass Rockstar. Own your voice, reclaim your story, and rewrite it with courage and joy.
The past may have left its mark, but today, you and I hold the pen and power to write the story we really want to live.
Inspirational Takeaways for You
During this month of self-improvement, fully commit to unlearning inherited doubts. Always remember:
You are limitless. You are powerful. You are a Rockstar. And it’s time to own your story like the star you were born to be.
The opinions of others do not determine your value. Their limits are not yours.
Each day offers a fresh chance to reframe your narrative with kindness and bravery.
Choose which stories about yourself you wish to carry the rest of the way.
You matter. Always have. Always will.
My Story and How I Can Help
My memoir, These Broken Roads, Scammed and Vindicated, One Woman’s Story (Sibylline Press), chronicles my journey of resilience and reclaimed power. It won the prestigious 2023 NYC Big Book Award in the non-fiction category, and I hope you can find some encouragement within its pages.
Grab your copy here.
My debut single, “Little Me,” is a love letter to my younger self and the younger selves we all carry—a musical anthem to reclaim strength and authentic voice. Take a listen here.
Join the conversation!
What childhood message(s) are you ready to release?
How will you honor your “little me” going forward?
I’d love to hear your reflections—feel free to comment below or message me.